What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
