If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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