it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
