Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Alive.
So much puke
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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