Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
3pm strippers are depressing
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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