problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
