around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
There r osticjed everywhere
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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