you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Randomize
