I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize