I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
