Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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