Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
As shirtless as possible
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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