I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
