i will never coherently bang her
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
