I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
