I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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