Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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