u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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