I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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