well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
