why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
no you cant smoke seaweed
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
