do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
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