He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I just gargled with NyQuil
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
