If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Let's get the cat blown out
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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