My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
NoShamevember. You game?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
