i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
