Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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