I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i think i have two assholes
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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