Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
