Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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