Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
