Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
