there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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