More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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