I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
