Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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