She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
