Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
