Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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