I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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