if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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