Betty ford says i'm here all night
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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