All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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