I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize