I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
