You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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