i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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