i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
my shit smells like andre
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Let's get the cat blown out
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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