I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
