If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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