He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
It's official drugs can't kill me
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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