I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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