Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
