You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
