cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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