from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
