i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
