Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
my poor anus
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
