you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
