covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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