nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
